Confidence to look like crap
I thought I'd share a picture of myself after I spent a little time with sweet little Sunshine, who is battling her third cold in three weeks.
|Not actually me. But what little girl hasn't dreamed of being Dr. Peter Venkman?|
Has this winter been harsh on everyone else? I'm sure it has. Everyone I know has turned into a paranoid germaphobe, shooting eye daggers at anyone who sneezes, sniffles or coughs. So it's no wonder I've spent the better part of 2013 covered in boogers.
It's not like I planned on being a constant soggy Kleenex to my three kids this year. I had really good intentions of making this a year of being better groomed and more bombshell like. Moms know that at some point in time, after many years of fetching meals, homework, late night glasses of water, and whatever else your children could possibly need, ever, there's that inevitable moment when you walk ahead of a mirror.
It happened. I was turned into a zombie without even knowing it.
Tangled hair up on the top of my head. My favorite track sweatpants from high school that I refused to get rid of, despite the fact that they met their demise with melted crayons in the dryer, complete with one leg hitched up all LL Cool J style. T-shirt covered in boogers and food remnants, even though I haven't eaten a meal yet today myself. Circles under my eyes... pale skin. You name it.
Don't get me wrong, I clean up nicely. But those occasions are saved for holidays and special events. In other words, roughly 10% of the calendar year. You wouldn't know it by looking at any pictures of me from the last 4 years or so, but Gwen Stefani is my style icon. Athletic, sexy, cool, and glamorous. Gorgeous beyond logic considering she's in her 40s and has two little boys.
I even decided to sport the red lip look for Christmas this year. My husband looked at me like he'd never seen me before. Never mind that I defended myself like a ninja every time someone came anywhere near my face, I looked put together for the first time in months.
My friend, who is constantly glamorous, style-conscious and also childless, commented on a picture she saw of me from that night. "You should rock the red lips all the time!" I told her I did it for special things, like Halloween, because otherwise there wasn't really a point. She emphasized that there is always a time for it, and I'm worth it. We only live once, and we should have the confidence in ourselves to go ahead and dress ourselves up.
I feel like this is a common misconception of women who take care of children. That we've somehow lost confidence over the years, and have succumbed to getting hit full force with the "tired train". But here is my theory: we have gotten more confident in our looks over time.
That's right. We're not losing some battle against inevitability letting ourselves go. We've changed our perspective and have the confidence to let ourselves go. Makeup? Don't need it unless we're afraid of offending or scaring someone. Going to pick up our kids from school? Clean pants are all that's needed. Seriously, we're in the school for all of 5 minutes... who cares? Red lipstick? Only on Halloween or Christmas.
Here's the thing: we'd all love to look nice. Humans are drawn to beautiful things. I'd love to put on the same cute clothes I did when I was 21 and spend a full freaking hour on my hair like I used to. But these days I'm lucky to get all of my kids dressed in time to head out the door. And if you haven't noticed - even the people with time to spend on their looks aren't getting more and more beautiful everyday. We age. It's ok.
So for now I'm content and even proud of the fact that I can go to the supermarket barefaced and smiling. I'll get that chance to get dolled up again. Granted, it will be a couple of months from now, but when that time comes, you better believe I'll rock it.
Another plus side to only getting primped every once in awhile - you look extra great because you look like a tired pile of crap the rest of the time ;)
Hoping everyone has had a great start to the New Year, and that you'll be ok with that snot covered zombie staring back at you the next time you pass a mirror. Not that it would be your reflection - cuz you look great. Very refreshed and full of energy. But just in case it is you, smile back at her - she's not all that scary.